Friday, June 6, 2014

Life is Uncertain, Unfair and Unbelievable.

I am not trying to be a pessimist or cynist. The title of this post is simply a quote I created on my own which constantly seems to reflect back towards my current thoughts, opinions and more states of my mind.

Aside from seeking a decent normal job and the critique for that stressful process, as well as the problems of the economy in general, I would like to once again reflect back on many negative aspects of my current life.

You know, it's really too bad that I never was good previously at mathematics in school or interested in physics or chemistry, because in my middle twenties, I am vastly intrigued by everything surrounding science. Having reviewed several world famous books of them already in here, many people continue to be impressed by my growing book cabinet.

I really would like to leave my 2nd home, as I feel the need, the urge and so on to really make the next big step, by obtaining a place of my own and being rewarded with much more independence and freedom in general.

However, without a decent normal job with a stable insurance of a wage salary constantly letting me able to pay for the future bills, this means I am stuck looking for a job until I can move on. And after sending dozens and dozens of job applications since February, with the majority of the rejections being the same reason, I feel demotivated, defeated and at one point, I was dissapointed towards myself and for letting my parents down.

As I shared this previous sentence with my parents, they quickly denounced those negative conclusions and told me they are proud of me and they grant me their support and strength. Which I obviously have had in all my life, and now I really know they love me.

The rejection reason is that other candidates fulfill the job more and are better suited, without ever specifically stating why. Contantly reading this very same excuse creates the negative thoughts of doubt, uncertainty and such.

Even with having completed two different degrees, academic accomplishments, which in this case aren't remarkable in my opinion as for example bachelors and beyond, don't mean much when jobs have a lot of requirements and the spots are limited.

Although I wish to do atleast 1 more study, trying to reach for a bachelor degree, if I cannot atleast get a decent job with insurance and move out of the house(and in this case I would like to have an appartment for myself), then this must get postponed.

The truth is that job seeking has become much more difficult than it has been for past generations. Immigration and technology are two major reasons, but cryptic economic shifts and their unstable bubbles are another which just lets me get a headache and makes me become mad of all the corruption this monetary system has done.

And yet, many people of my age and below get out of the house, attend a university, have relationships and seem to be more successful in life than myself. That is, until I remember all of the precious memories and accomplishments I have done in life already, and then I feel much better.

Because life has the tendency to let me rebounce out of my negative and jealous thoughts while steering me towards potential solutions and general hope. And for that I am utterly grateful. Just for a little more clarification surrounding the title, it applies to both my personal life and the world I see around me.

It's good to talk about topics that worry me and make me feel uncertain. It's greater to talk about these topics with the numerous friends I have and then receiving their support, advice and wisdom. Friendship is truly one of the most precious things to obtain in life.

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